Today you are getting off the merry go round. Right now. Seriously, tuck and roll off of that thing because if you don't you will never stop feeling dizzy.
There are varying degrees of merry go rounders. Some of us are worse than others, I realize. If someone pops into your head every now and then, that's fine, and normal. We are human, we don't just erase all memories of someone or something that was a part of our lives. However, being at every beckon call of your ex is not okay. First stop off the carousel, stop acting like you are still their girlfriend/boyfriend. Right now you're thinking "We are still friends, I'm not just going to stop that." No, you are not still friends. Do any of your other friends drunkenly text you at all hours of the night stating any of the following?
"missss youu babyyyy"
"ughhh you're so sexxyyy"
"come herrreee"
"why don't youuu love meee?"
"ughhh you're so sexxyyy"
"come herrreee"
"why don't youuu love meee?"
I certainly hope not. If so, perhaps you and your friend need to do some talking. If the relationship is fresh enough in your mind that you still die a little inside thinking of them every time Adele's Someone Like You comes on the radio...you are not friends. Do yourself a favor and give the besties act a rest. When and if the time is right maybe you can be casual friends, but until then, stop forcing it and quit making yourself suffer.
Second stop, take a sharp left off memory lane and head down out of sight, out of mind avenue. When you go on a diet, do you succeed in doing so by leaving cake and candy around the house? Absolutely not. If you see the cake, you are going to eat it. Likewise, if you leave mementos of your relationship everywhere, you are going to be thinking of that person. Take down the pictures, delete those adorable texts you have saved, and stop creeping your Facebook friendship. Memories are great, however it's easy to forget that is all they are. Whether or not you want to believe this fact is up to you, but they no longer matter. Know what else is easy? Sweetening memories beyond what actually occurred. Everyone does it. It is a lot more pleasant to remember that time he sent you flowers at work without thinking of the day before (the time you found the sexts from his downstairs neighbor..well, the first time) Remember that time she made you breakfast in bed? The morning after you were both up until three am fighting over nothing? Good times. Are you getting my drift here? Stop sleeping in his sweatpants, stop listening to the song she said was yours on repeat. A good rule of thumb? If you would feel awkward explaining an item in your room or home to a new love interest, get rid of it.
Get them off the pedestal. I have been so guilty of this it's laughable. Stop pretending it was a fluke that ended the two of you. It happened for a reason. Especially in these merry go round situations, it didn't work the third time, it especially won't the fourth. It is safe to say you are elevating your ex to a status that they couldn't even reach during your relationship simply because you can't be with them now. If your time together was so perfect, if they were so perfect, why aren't you together? Take off the rose colored glasses when you feel the need to think about your former ball and chain. Even better? Talk to your friends. I am sure they will be happy to inform you of the flaws you are so naively over looking. There is no truth like that from a best friend.
Our final stop of the day is very simple: do not, ever, ever, touch your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Friends with benefits doesn't even work in the movies. Ever. I don't think I need to elaborate on this. It is always a bad idea. Always. You probably won't listen to me, but when you are back at emotional square one after a drunken night of "oopsies," you better think to yourself "Damn it, Sydni told me so.." Because I did.
Now, I realize there are exceptions, sometimes things end for regrettable reasons, and it is possible in some cases to reconcile old relationships. If you weren't able to before, I should hope you are able to distinguish "merry go round exes" from your average former partners after reading this. I also realize these things are easier said than done, but trust me when I say life is so much easier moving in a straight line rather than a circle. You deserve better than where you've already been, it just may take a few steps for you to realize this to be true.
Second stop, take a sharp left off memory lane and head down out of sight, out of mind avenue. When you go on a diet, do you succeed in doing so by leaving cake and candy around the house? Absolutely not. If you see the cake, you are going to eat it. Likewise, if you leave mementos of your relationship everywhere, you are going to be thinking of that person. Take down the pictures, delete those adorable texts you have saved, and stop creeping your Facebook friendship. Memories are great, however it's easy to forget that is all they are. Whether or not you want to believe this fact is up to you, but they no longer matter. Know what else is easy? Sweetening memories beyond what actually occurred. Everyone does it. It is a lot more pleasant to remember that time he sent you flowers at work without thinking of the day before (the time you found the sexts from his downstairs neighbor..well, the first time) Remember that time she made you breakfast in bed? The morning after you were both up until three am fighting over nothing? Good times. Are you getting my drift here? Stop sleeping in his sweatpants, stop listening to the song she said was yours on repeat. A good rule of thumb? If you would feel awkward explaining an item in your room or home to a new love interest, get rid of it.
Get them off the pedestal. I have been so guilty of this it's laughable. Stop pretending it was a fluke that ended the two of you. It happened for a reason. Especially in these merry go round situations, it didn't work the third time, it especially won't the fourth. It is safe to say you are elevating your ex to a status that they couldn't even reach during your relationship simply because you can't be with them now. If your time together was so perfect, if they were so perfect, why aren't you together? Take off the rose colored glasses when you feel the need to think about your former ball and chain. Even better? Talk to your friends. I am sure they will be happy to inform you of the flaws you are so naively over looking. There is no truth like that from a best friend.
Our final stop of the day is very simple: do not, ever, ever, touch your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Friends with benefits doesn't even work in the movies. Ever. I don't think I need to elaborate on this. It is always a bad idea. Always. You probably won't listen to me, but when you are back at emotional square one after a drunken night of "oopsies," you better think to yourself "Damn it, Sydni told me so.." Because I did.
Now, I realize there are exceptions, sometimes things end for regrettable reasons, and it is possible in some cases to reconcile old relationships. If you weren't able to before, I should hope you are able to distinguish "merry go round exes" from your average former partners after reading this. I also realize these things are easier said than done, but trust me when I say life is so much easier moving in a straight line rather than a circle. You deserve better than where you've already been, it just may take a few steps for you to realize this to be true.
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