5.12.2014

sassy wander(lust.)

at Monday, May 12, 2014
    It's a strange realization when your family stops becoming a part of your daily life. I can't drive to my grandmother's house for potato soup. I can't fight with my mom and sister over silly little things. My friend and I can't have coffee over her boys' nap time. Everything that I have known and loved my entire life is no longer within arms reach. I suppose that is just growing up, but it isn't really fair now is it? You learn and grow with a support system and until you find "The One" it's just up to you to be your own everything. Sure, thanks to technology your loved ones are just a phone call or text away but no matter how you spin it, it just isn't the same thing.
     We are told to leave home. Like baby birds leaving the nest we are pushed and prodded away and rewarded for doing so. New people. New places. New opportunities. Find happiness..find a new support system..find a new life. But that leaves us wondering what was wrong with the old one. Perhaps nothing. You may jump out of the nest and look around and love what you see. The grass will be greener on the surface. But guess what? No matter what color the grass is, it's nothing but dirt underneath. Dirt is dirt no matter what you put on top of it.
    You can try to build a new system. But you're going to get dropped on your ass a few times. You might meet a boy, he might bare what you think is his heart and soul. He might become the only system you know in your newly jumped out of nest. Then he will throw you to the curb like a bag of decomposing garbage with no explanation but a basic text asking to still be friends. I don't know about you but keeping rotting trash around really just stinks up the place. No thanks, dick. You might find a new job, you might love it. It might not fill the hole in your everyday life. It might leave you wondering what the point of money and a career is with no one to share stories with. You might make new friends. You might consistently doubt intentions. You will have good days. Days that you simply have to look around in order to feel so grateful for the things that have been brought into your life. Positives can always be found. But at the end of the day; all of these things might happen.

And it might create a hole.

And it will hurt.


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