hey jude.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine suggested the topic "not thinking people are good enough, setting too high of expectations." At the time, I didn't really believe I could go on the blog rant that you are all so used to reading on that specific topic, so I didn't write it. For some reason I was thinking of his suggestion this morning and realized I could absolutely put some Sydni in this subject. Here we go..

Every single one of us is guilty of this, but I think most of the offenders lie in my generation. Thanks to movies, sappy Facebook statuses, and TV shows that completely misconstrue relationships; everyone has this obnoxious ideal of who their partner needs to be. We get so caught up in what someone isn't doing that what they are doing gets completely swept under the rug. Your Prince Charming or Cinderella isn't going to bust up in your life someday with a dramatic monologue and an acoustic guitar. When you put your expectations in perspective, maybe you will notice your leading man or lady has been there the whole time, waiting with a simple hand outstretched.

I am not telling you to lower your expectations. I am not telling you to settle for an former convict with no job because he will never be Heath Ledger. Let me make that apparent. I am telling you to stop being blind to the things you have in your life because they aren't what you think they should be.

People have a preconceived notion that when they find someone that is right, fireworks will erupt and crowds will gather for a somehow perfectly choreographed musical number...that is not going to happen. What will happen is you finding someone you can be yourself around, tell your darkest secrets to, and just be happy with. Isn't that enough? It's so easy to forget that relationships aren't about who can ante up with the biggest romantic gesture. They aren't about being with someone who will impress other people. They aren't about changing someone. They aren't about only being able to find happiness in the big things, but rather finding a smile in small thing each and every moment. Grand gestures get old, and at the end of the day it's simply about being happy.

One time in my life stands out to me where apparently being happy wasn't enough. The weirdest part was, this person really was like a movie. I won't go in to detail because I try to maintain some anonymity in the people I talk about in my blogs, but the things you see in cheesy romantic comedies and think "that never happens," happened. Every day was something new. I'll be the first to admit when I make a mistake, and I stepped in it big time on that one. I didn't appreciate the things he did..took them for granted, when he exceeded my unrealistic expectations, I set new ones. Was it perhaps a defense mechanism? Who knows, but all I know is I was a brat. You can't enter someone in a competition without their knowledge and punish them when they don't win.

My time with this person may have been movie-esque, but life isn't a movie. Sorry kids. You can't make mistakes and with one apology everything is okay and the choreographed dance starts right back up. (Seriously though, how does any movie explain how an entire crowd of people just knows the same dance and is willing to do it in public, come on.)
Inadvertently telling someone they aren't good enough simply because you think you deserve better than what they are already giving you isn't okay. If you don't like who that person is, you need to let them go show someone else how great they are. Looking back, I would have done it all differently. I would have realized it's the little things that matter most. Someone who will buy you a two dollar gift simply because it's your favorite color, listens..really listens when you speak, and trusts you with their secrets is going to keep you happier longer than someone who is just trying to impress you with meaningless nonsense.