all you are is mean.

I got several responses to yesterday's post. One was surprisingly negative, which is to be expected on a subject such as the one I wrote about. Believe it or not, I appreciate all feedback. However, I originally started this blog as a way to get my thoughts out, an online diary if you will. It has since turned into a sort of online diary for a lot of people. A place where they can come and see that they aren't alone in their feelings or outlooks, and maybe even gain new insight into a problem they are having. For that reason, all Debbie Downer comments will be read and taken in by me, then promptly deleted. I try to keep positivity going here and no one reading probably appreciates being told their feelings "aren't right."

Also, just to clear up any contradictions I may have made, yesterday's post was not meant to be read as a "WOE IS ME" post. It was written from a perspective I felt some of you could relate to with the things you have told me you're going through. If you have any doubts on my thoughts on life, reread the "Your Life" post while listening to the song Walking on Sunshine. Nothing has changed, still happy ole me!

On that note, today I am going to write about a very simple topic. People who are mean. I think people find "mean"to be a very juvenile term, but if you think about it, some people are just that..downright mean. Personally, I think darn near all people from the ages 12-16 (give or take a few years) are meanies. It's just a stage everyone seems to go through. Call it teen angst perhaps. You're mad at the world because you haven't grown into your body, boys or girls are confusing, and middle school is the lost circle of hell that Dante forgot to mention. We get it, and don't worry you'll probably grow out of it once the hormones balance out. I'll be the first one to admit I was a raging ball of rude in those years. I wouldn't have called myself the stereotypical Regina George, I was more so a Janice Ian. But guess what? I grew up.

What I'm talking about is adults. Those of us who make the blatant decision on a daily basis to just be mean. I'm here to tell you, stop it. My Grandma Nancy has always told me, as I'm sure most of our Grandmas have, "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." Perhaps in Sunday School you were told to, "Treat others as you wish to be treated." Catchy sayings like these have been shoved in our faces all of our lives, so why is it so hard as mature adults to just take them in and do as we're told?

I know for a fact I am no saint, mean happens. No one goes through life riding on a rainbow with everyone in the world loving them. Unless you're Mother Theresa...but in our current society I highly doubt we have many of those running around. You're going to get mad sometimes, you're going to say things to hurt the people you care about, I realize this. Odds are you're going to calm down and apologize. You're human.
BUT, a lot of people I encounter these days aren't mad, they don't apologize, they are just plain hateful. My question is, What are you gaining from acting this way? This isn't high school anymore, you have no excuses to be treating others badly. I know that we all live with private battles; maybe body image, family issues, love problems, anything. Some tough love here, those aren't excuses either. The general public isn't causing those problems. Even if your sour behavior is solely directed at the people who cause these issues, it isn't going to make them stop. All it is going to accomplish is the creation of a miserable chain.

Trust me when I say that making other people happy is the greatest thing you can do to improve your own happiness. Don't believe me? Make someone smile with you. Right now. Two people sharing a smile or laugh is one of life's simplest joys. Also one of life's greatest. Something as easy and quick as telling the cashier at the convenience store to have a great day, or going outside the norms of small talk with a stranger can not only improve their day, but also yours.

On the contrary, being an a' hole rarely does anything for anyone. I'm a waitress at a pretty busy restaurant so naturally I deal with plenty of grouchy people. I don't know if they enjoy being rude, or perhaps it is just their nature, but either way..it doesn't affect my day one bit. I put on a smile and walk off to the next table hoping someone there will have a little sunnier disposition. Point being: if you are trying to make yourself feel better by dragging other people into misery with you..it probably isn't going to work. You'll still be in a bad mood, and whoever you just sassed off to will just think you're an idiot.

All i'm trying to say is that as far as I can tell, there is absolutely nothing to gain by being mean. If you have something hateful to say, listen to Grandma Nancy and keep it to yourself. You have too many smiles to share, laughs to experience, and moods to change to waste your time being someone no one wants to be around.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.