all the wrong places

I think it is generally accepted that love will come to you when you least expect it. Perhaps you will find love in a relationship you otherwise thought to be platonic. Maybe you will be one of the few who is able to rekindle old love into something better, and new. Then again, you may find it in someone who could be considered a complete stranger up until your meeting. Love often comes to us at the most random times, you turn around one day and almost trip over it. My advice? Go ahead and trip, fall flat on your face. Hopefully, the person who tripped you will finally be the one to help you back up.

Of course it's easy to say that we all sit around patiently waiting for our moment to trip and fall but let's be honest with ourselves..humans are impatient. We live in an instant gratification society, and it is such an easy thing to get accustomed to. You want something? Here it is. Guess what? Love doesn't come in an instant gratification option. People not realizing that is what causes the settling I have talked about in an earlier post. We want so bad to find our other half that we settle for someone that ends up only filling up a quarter. There is no shame in this, it's safe to say everyone has done it at least once. Once you recognize it, stop it. It's getting you nowhere.

What I'm meaning to tackle today is people that so obnoxiously look for it in the wrong places then turn around and blame others for their heartache. No one likes the "All men are pigs" girl and we're sick of listening to the "Girls are just hoes" guy. We've heard it all, and we don't really agree, despite our nodding heads of approval.

I understand that you have probably been hurt, fine. We all have. But chances are that if you have been hurt by a legitimate relationship, you aren't out belittling the opposite sex and stereotyping them all as farm animals. If you are looking so hard for this true love that you're putting your net out every second of every day, guess what? You're going to catch some bad ones. You can't expect the girl you met over dollar shot night at the bar to be the one you take home for Christmas. The sweaty guy at your gym that watches you work out, and asks for your number on a daily basis is probably not the future father of your children. If you have to convince yourself that someone is a good idea...they aren't.

Here are some things I have legitimately heard from friends:

"Well he seems really nice, I was really drunk and he didn't even try anything"
-Wow, he didn't take advantage of a sloppy mess, that's husband material right there. I mean, come on. Someone not having sex with you is not a legitimate reason to go out with them.

"She told me she got cheated on too so she'd never do anything like that."
-If being mutually cheated on is grounds for a relationship, I know at least fifty people I should be dating right now. Besides, if she has to blatantly tell you this, doesn't that raise a few flags?

"He's pre-med so he's smart, he'll be successful when he graduates."
-Screech the brakes on the crazy train sister. You should NEVER date someone for what they could be, or are going to be. You are with the present. Besides, I know plenty of geniuses with degrees that are living off canned soup in their parents basements.

"Her parents have money, so..."
-Stop, just don't. If you have ever uttered something along these lines slap yourself on the wrist right now.

"He says he's never been like this with anyone so quickly, and he's really hot."
-You know what else is hot? The STD's you're going to end up with for falling for that line. Dropping lines like this screams that someone is just trying to get you to drop something else..


There are plenty more lines that we have all heard or maybe even said ourselves. The truth is, if you have to talk yourself into being interested in someone..you aren't. Wait for the person that needs no rationalizing. If there's no spark in their smile, static in their touch, and butterflies in their eyes then they aren't worth your time. I speak for all friends when I say this, we aren't surprised the Romeo you picked up doing body shots at Mardi Gras broke your heart. Perhaps you shouldn't have given it to him in the first place. From now on, stop and think before you give your time and feelings to someone. If you have to convince others, and more importantly yourself, that someone is a good idea..they aren't.
Don't give a second of your time to someone who doesn't deserve you, that time should be given to the person who will cherish every moment of it.