My grandparents have been married for over fifty years. Most people's grandparents, or even parents, have been or will have been married for longer than this when their lives are over. This will never happen for me. This will never happen for most of my generation. People always believe there is a better option, someone better out there, than the person they're with. Everyone is too busy searching for their perfect match that they miss them when they're standing in front of them screaming "Hello! I'm right here!" Not to mention when someone does finally settle down and thinks they have found someone worth sharing their life with, there are too many ways to cheat these days. You can literally be in bed with your significant other and cheating on your cellphone or social networking site. Combine that with the lack of morality my generation was raised with and Boom! Recipe for heartbreak and loneliness.
I want to be courted. I want a romance like our grandparents had, and still have. Call me old fashioned, fine. I don't want to keep my options open. I want one person. One person to show all I have to give. To share my everything with. To go to sleep with every night and wake up to every morning. I want to share coffee. I want to make meals together. I want to have picnics. I want to enjoy my life because they are in it. I don't want someone to think twice about their feelings for me, or wonder if i'm "as good as it gets." I want them to look at me like there's no one else. Because that is how I will be looking at them.
Despite the "Sex and the City" type culture; life isn't meant to be spent alone into your forties, just sleeping with whatever tickles your fancy and having cocktails with a new man every night.
Life is meant to be spent with someone else. One someone else. Someone to merge your life with until you're so far deep into each other's lives it simply becomes "our life." Life isn't about sneaking around behind your lover's back. It isn't about texting, facebooking, tweeting, emailing, nothing. Life is not meant for lies, deceit, betrayal, or pain. It's meant for happiness, companionship, and if we're lucky enough...love.
But no one seems to understand that these days.
I would like to know if i'm stuck in a fantasy that will never come true...or if maybe someday I will find someone who breaks the mold of my generation. I'm very young, and I realize that, but i'm going to have to find him soon if I want to surpass fifty years.
3 comments:
I absolutely LOVE this. It's so true. My parents were lucky enough to have found each other at a young age. This year they will have been married for 26 years, which is amazing. I'm with you: I want to be with one person for the rest of my life. Do I necessarily want to get married right now? Absolutely not. Just knowing I've found someone who loves me unconditionally will suit me just fine. I know I'm guilty of appearing extremely cynical. But, I truly believe there is someone out there for you and for me. I know you feel hurt, mad, and betrayed but there is someone out there better for you than him. I know you said that the connection between the two of you was incredible. If that was that incredible, imagine how incredible it will be when you finally meet that one.
I asked for my Grandma's views on marriage, and this is what she told me. "Let me tell ya, you get out, what you put in. Married life, is not always easy, not always fun, and maybe not always fair, but when you have the love of your life, to help ease your troubles, make you laugh when your sad, and learn the art of compromise (sometimes in your favor...but let's don't tell Grandpa), when you have that, all those ups and the downs...Ah, that what makes it worth everyday." She and Grandpa also had enjoyed over 50 years, before she passed in 2004.
"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, until death do us part"..."I DO"...These vows I spoke, I take seriously. They are the foundation that supports our marriage. Forever and Ever...Like our song says, "We're still having fun, and your still the one..." and I wouldn't change it for the world, because it IS worth everyday, because I share it with, My Honey, My Honey (a.k.a. My one and only)!
Sometimes we find that "True Love" later in life, and so, it's not always the "number of years" that's important, it is the Love. True Honest Love. The kind that completes you. The kind that when you sit back and reflect after 5 years to 15 or 20+ years of marriage, you smile and think, "I AM IN LOVE" and that's when you know you got it right, and that's what matters most... : )
I agree 100 percent and I hope I will find that person soon
John Matthew Lash
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