text rant.

If you have ever been romantically interested in me you probably know that I hate

texting as a form of communication. I think it is single handedly the most detrimental thing to happen to love since online porn sites. Since when does moving your fingers across an iPhone screen constitute courtship? Lately I feel like I have caught a lot of slack for being "hard" on guys. I have been called everything from cold and heartless, to a man-eating shrewd. All I have to say in response to that is sorry for refusing to settle for a caveman whose idea of getting

my attention is a poke on Facebook and a "hey" text message twenty times a day. I am not asking for a boombox outside my window and love poems on the reg, but is that really your idea of giving a woman attention? I don't care how many times you text me "Hey let's hang out," the answer will always be no. Have you ever picked up a phone? Phone calls are not an item of folklore that died in the 1980's. They are alive and well, not to mention very effective. Text messages contain no emotion

s. I don't care if you put twenty five cheesy smileys after your question. Still nothing. You can write me six 160 character pages about the way you feel toward me but until you prove it in real life, I am going to ignore every letter of it.

Girls' Facebook statuses are always plastered about how big of liars men are, which constantly makes me wonder what they consider lying. If typing some bologna into a text box would get you boob pictures, you would probably do it too. It isn't right, but it's true. I mean, on the other hand, ladies would you really do everything in real life that you promise via "sext?" No. Because TEXTING IS NOT TALKING. Your inbox is not life. If someone can look you in the eyes and make a promise to you, that is a real and legitimate interaction. It's so easy to lie to people through a cell phone.

"Yeah, of course we can hang out soon!"

"I miss you :("

"I love you"
"Sorry, I didn't have my phone."

Lies, The lot of it.

It is so easy to be douchetastic these days. If you make someone mad, hurt their feelings, or blatantly lie to them, the solution is simple. You don't have to text them back. Which is horrible, but I think that's the reason people love it so much. There is no accountability to actions in the world of Autocorrect and T9 Word. However, despite the impersonal nature of the whole thing, texting is a form of words...and words can hurt. You can even take this as far as cyber-bullying; people just aren't the same across a wi-fi connection.

The disconnect between real people turns us all into some degree of sociopath, don't you think? No one says what they mean. No one cares what lies they tell after the sent button is tapped. Cheating in relationships is simplified. Ditching one night stands is easier than ever. Fibbing to friends is just a click away.

Obviously no one who reads this is going to cut texting out of their daily lives. But maybe you should consider taking it out of your relationships. Would your Grandparents be celebrating their sixty year anniversary if they had met over Facebook and sexted their way into going steady? How about your parents? No, probably not.

Simplify your happiness, talk to someone.