I do not have kids. Obviously. But I am getting to the point where a large percentage of my friends do. My mommy and daddy friends are wonderful to me. They teach me so much about life and love through their stories and even just being able to watch them evolve into these beautiful compassionate people that they are astounds me. The essence of having children is one I have always been in love with. I want kids, I really do. However, I don't have them right now, and here are some things I wish people would stop saying. Yes, these are things I have actually heard. Surprisingly.
"You want how many kids? Tell your future husband to kiss that body goodbye then."
Wait, what do you mean sustaining a life changes your body? This is news to me fella. Good thing I am so selfish and idiotic that this fact alone will keep me from creating a life. Thank you. So much. I better tell my friend with two young boys who exercises daily, trains for races, oh and and completes them like a badass, that she should stop doing all of that because her body is useless. She will send you a thank you card as well.
"You shouldn't even think about kids until you're married."
Ideally, yes. However that isn't really your business. My sister and I were raised by a single mother. My sister had no father figure for most of her life and yet I am amazed by the woman she has become every single day. I know single mothers, fathers, same sex couples, unmarried couples, that are better parents than some married people I know. Do you love your child? Do you put their needs above your own? Are their bellies full? Okay, congratulations, you're probably a good parent.
"I mean so-and-so was an accident anyway, they had no choice"
Shut up. Just. Shut up. Unplanned does not mean accident.
Accident-noun.
- 1.an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury."
"Enjoy that freedom while you can."
You're right. Kids are little prison wardens that just ruin lives. Whatever will I do with my raucous nights of being in bed by eleven and dancing with the Swiffer in no pants when I have another life to look after? If only there was some sort of trade off here...like less free time but more meaning and purpose to my life, ya know? Damn kids they just wreck all the meaningful things. You mean, babies are a lot of work? WHAT?! Ugh again, I better go tell my pregnant friends that they're going to be busy because I am sure they have no clue that their lives are about to change.
"Just wait until you have your own."
Okay, saved the best for last. I am WELL AWARE I don't have offspring. Trust me, I think I would recall those nine months of my life. First of all, you have no idea if I am even capable of having children. Maybe I am battling with health issues that leave me unable to do so and your stupid comment just ruined my day in a way you can't understand. Maybe I am perfectly fertile in which case you have no idea what kind of mother I will be. Neither do I. You don't know how I grew up. You don't know what I know of life in general. Are you trying to defend your parenting choices by telling someone they can't have an opinion until they've birthed their own infant? Because by that logic no father is allowed to ever have an opinion, let's leave that to the mamas. That's what you're saying, right? There are a million ways to raise children. Thank God for that or we would have a bunch of creepy little clones running around not teaching each other anything about the world. When I have my own children, I will raise them as I please. As you are free to do with yours. But until then, don't belittle me as a person because I haven't had the chance to be a mother yet. Thanks.
I could probably write on this for another hour. However these are the most recent and I have laundry to do. I know, I know...WAIT UNTIL I HAVE KIDS I WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO DO LAUNDRY. Got it, thanks.
